No Comrade Premier, it has only begun.
OK, so we’ve now entered blogging silly season. While nuanced
villains with complex and engaging motives are all very well, there are times
in the life of every seasoned armchair hero when he wants to gaze at his
computer screen and find pure, calculating, cartoonish evil staring back at
him, stubbornly, creepily refusing to blink.
The true mastermind behind the Soviet invasion of America in
Red Alert 2, Yuri is the power-obsessed spawn of a Communist plot to create
mind-enslaving psychics, booted up by none other than Stalin himself (my
biggest disappointment with the Red Alert sequels was the lack of a snarling,
zombie Stalin, so Yuri has to step in as the deceased despot’s successor).
Thanks to his knack for snapping the wills of Allied spies, the Soviets are
able to able to storm the mainland United States and sweep through their major
cities with total surprise.
In the Allied campaign, Yuri is an unnervingly focussed and
competent antagonist, an island of soft-voiced and understated malice amongst
the pompous preening and hammy hostility of the other Soviet villains
(outrageously larger-than-life characters are a franchise staple, which makes
Yuri stand out even more). His strategic ploys have a markedly sinister edge,
even for the atrocity-prone Soviets; as early as the vanilla game he’s
mind-controlling the ordinary people of Washington D.C. and sending them
swarming into the teeth of their countryman’s guns like zombies. His
contributions to the Bolshevik war machine include bubbling cloning vats and throbbing
psychic beacons, helping to push the Red Alert franchise away from any tenuous
realism and into the realm of full-blown pulp-science, where brightly-coloured
livery, thunderous firepower and sizzling ultra-tech swirl and collide in an
endless, glorious ballet of mass death.
The giddy excess continues in the expansion pack, where Yuri
defects from the Soviet cause and unveils his private army of leather-masked
cultists, corrupt mutants and the single most evil feature of any Command and
Conquer game ever; the sadistic Grinder, a towering device that mashes its
occupants to a pulp and breaks them down into raw materials to fuel Yuri’s
egomaniacal cause. By this point, with his tattooed skull, twisted arsenal and
creatively deviant followers, Yuri has basically graduated into a Warhammer 40,000
villain.
But he’s at his most unsettling in the original Soviet
campaign, where it soon becomes obvious that’s he’s just as dangerous to his
own side as to the enemy, thanks to his single-minded fixation with power at
any cost. Steering the Premier like a puppet, invading the mind of any Soviet
bigwig who outlives his usefulness, overseeing Stalin-flavoured purges and
infighting, before finally unleashing packs of his psychic clones on any
homeland forces opposed to his takeover; Yuri is truly the foremost
bloodthirsty supervillain of the C and C universe. There’s one exception to
that, of course, but I don’t play the Tiberium games. Not enough cartoon Communism.
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